I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
why is half of my head shaved?
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