Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
