I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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