question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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