How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
