Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
