Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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