All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize