you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
