areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
