Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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