I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
