I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
