He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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