Im at strip club and am horny
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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