Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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