But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
