You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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