Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
