party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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