im gay
i know
yea but for you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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