i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
