He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
