do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
