I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
