i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
