using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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