I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
