Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
