he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
