Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
