Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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