The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
