How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
