I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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