My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
NoShamevember. You game?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
