The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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