took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize