And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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