Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You pole danced in your parka.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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