I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
