4 words: hood of his car
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
