what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
