i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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