the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
