check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I want to fling myself into the sun
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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