it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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