Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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