I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
