why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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