I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize