I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
