Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
