I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
