I just pynch a tree in the face
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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