I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
