I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize