Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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