His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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