Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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