I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's blow job season.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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