So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
