wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
