I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
