I just pynch a tree in the face
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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