2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
