he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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