come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
