A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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