pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
