I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
