You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
