can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
