Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
