if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
if only i could text you this smell
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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