i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
high people should be assigned attendants
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
