she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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