If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
