my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
